This week my wife and I celebrated 6 years of marriage. We decided to to return to Cornwall as a last minute break away and basically spent the whole time either on the beach or in the surf, we took some time out just the two of us, and it gave me time to reflect on what my marriage really means.

When I first met Natalie I was a fit, strong and a very capable young man. Of course I had an issue with my knee, the result of an old injury, but I was able bodied and nothing was out my reach. We had a lot in common and loved walking, lived an active gym life, and we played badminton once a week. Things where great and life was positive. We soon moved in together and started to create a home together. I knew from the start that Natalie was the woman I wanted to spend my life with and looked forward to building a life and future with her. When Natalie agreed to marry me and said the famous words “in sickness and in health” I don’t think she ever dreamed that we would end up on the path we found ourselves, or at least not until we where much older. My injury was always going to lead to arthritis and other medical issues but I was hoping this would be something to think about when I was in my 60’s, I never dreamt my life would ever be the way it has turned out.

When I fell ill it came as one hell of a shock, at first I didn’t know what was happening and life was turned up side down, so many things changed all at once and my life as a hoped it would be was in tatters and rapidly taking on a whole new look.

I needed Natalie now more than I ever knew possible, she became my rock, my foundation and my guidance. She helped me get dressed when I struggled, get in and out the car when I didn’t have the strength, she cooked, she cleaned and in a nutshell ran the house, a full time job and looked after me, many of my friends turned their backs on us and at first it hurt but I didn’t really have time to dwell on this I needed to move on. Natalie and I learnt new techniques together, we adapted to new ways and we somehow found away around the obstacles we where faced with.

An illness like mine where your mind is solid but your body is failing you in some way is difficult, it causes stress led from frustration, you get embarrassed by your failings and the need for help when you was always so capable of doing everything yourself. These are all  real hard pills to swallow. Pride sometimes gets the better of you and you lash out at those closest to you even when you don’t mean to or realise that it’s not their fault and that they are doing the best they can.

Needless to say the past few years have been a roller coaster of emotion and has been a testament to the strength of our marriage but also our relationship. My wife has become more than just the women I married but she is the foundation to how I live my life, I could not have gotten through the past years with out her. We have had our ups and our downs, more so than the average marriage. I have had times where I have questioned if Natalie would be better off without me and have struggled with the demons of my own mind, I can’t talk for Natalie but I am sure she has questioned her own choices and who could blame her but we have worked our way through the tough times and talked our way through the difficulties, we have cried, we have laughed and we have traveled this journey together. I am very grateful for the past 6 years. If my illness has shown me one thing positive is that my marriage is solid. The friends I have around me are true and I thank my lucky stars everyday that I have them but most of all I am greatful to have my best friend, my rock, my wife right by my side……….

In Sickness And In Health