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Disability- lifestyles and life changes. 

disability lifestyles and life changes.

There are several types of people suffering with disability, those born with a disability, those who suffer from an injury and those who suffer from an illness.

If you weren’t born with a disability as many aren’t, it can be a struggle learning to adapt and enjoy your new lifestyle. This will lead to times of frustration, sadness, and despair. It shouldn’t have to, you are the one in control and you do have the power to succeed. I get it! Yes! This is Easier said than done. Yes! We all struggle. Yes! It is perfectly natural however it’s important to find your new way of living. Your task is finding a way to make ‘you’ happy.

Coping with your emotions

It’s hard and even more so if an injury or illness is keeping you from doing the things you enjoy. You will start experiencing a profound impact on your emotional and mental health.

For many people there is the offer of counsellors to help them sort through their emotions. Some like myself this is not necessarily on offer so I turned to friends and mentor programs. Programs like what is offered by the BackUp Trust.

Truth is you just need to find people to talk through your feelings with. It helps if they have a grasped understanding of your situation. There are loads of foundations and organisations that can help in this area for example Limb Power help with individuals that have lost a limb or have limb impediments. I have recently been a guest at the Katie piper foundation. They support burn and scaring survivors. The foundation and the patrons are fantastic and supportive.

I was very lucky as I met people through sport and those people introduced me to other people. I joined my local baseball team. (Archers Wheelchair Basketball) This helped loads, my journey from there has been positive and now I am in a position where I can offer others a bit of support.

Through sport I found confidence and from confidence I found will power. Before I knew it I was back in the saddle, I was planning adventures and deciding what I wanted to do next.

limitations

Your limits can be a massive issue. Your body’s new limits is something you will need to explore and also experiment with. This is the area however that will make you angry and at times irritable. You can gain a lot of benefits from working with physical or occupational therapists to help you find new ways of doing things. Effectively using your body to its best potential will be how you overcome the limitations presented to you. For all of us the hardest thing to beat is our own frustration.

Be patient with yourself it will come in time. We all try we all fail but if you don’t try then you have failed before you begin.

Coping financially

Now this is the area of real pressure. It comes with its own issues and I have often stated that no one plans this life changing event. Often a recently new disability will keep you from working. This could possibly be long or short-term so you are effectively already starting on the back foot.

I know here in the U.K. You can seek benefit support and in other countries there are other such assistance. The application process can be lengthily and often complicated. You may even get rejected on the first attempt but the hard work is worth the effort. Remember two things:-

  1. You need this initial support and never be too proud to ask for help. One of the biggest mistakes that many people do in my opinion is to fund the new unexpected out goings on credit cards or loans. This is the voice of experience.
  2. Financial hardship is common, you are not the first. Sometimes the sudden lack of income can put massive pressure on an already pressured situation. You don’t have to face this alone and you can visit well run organisations such as Citizens advice or stepchange to seek financial guidance.
Finding new passions and hobbies

Hobbies will be very healthy, your life may have changed due to disability but your life style doesn’t need to. If you are unable to keep working in your current job try seeking a further education.

Sometimes hobbies have to change. I was a runner before my wheelchair but I found new activities such as wheelchair basketball, Handcycleling,  wheelchair rugby,  wheelchair squash and of course I became a blogger.

It is absolutely vital that you find new ways to enjoy life. There are plenty of hobbies and activities you can do. All you need to do is just be willing to explore your boundaries. Step outside the box.

It is hard to adapt but trust me you will find away. When I developed my disability so many people told me what I couldn’t do but all I could think about was “but why not?” So I decided to try to find a way to do these things for me that became my hobby! And I love it…

The journey from where I started to the place I am now has been long, painful and frustrating. I have had to overcome, push my limits and rediscover who I now am. People would say it’s not about the chair you are the same old you. No I am not I am a new me. I laid the able version of me to rest and embraced the version of me that has a disability and decided that if this was the cards I was dealt then I am playing them my way. Keep hope, keep faith and look to those around you for the support you need. You can do it and you will…

My talk with St Cadoc’s church ladies. Raglan

When I was asked by Beverly Jones of Awaken Life Coaching to talk in front of a group of ladies, in St Cadoc’s church and where they are all older ladies. I admit I was a little worried. These where a group of ladies that have lived through a world war. Seen and experienced things I could not begin to understand. And here I am with a story of my life. How could I even begin to offer them anything of any value.

I decided to open up my talk with a poem, something I wrote, something that had dear meaning to me. Very quickly I realised that my audience was engaged, so i continued with my talk feeling a lot more relaxed and comfortable.

I told the story of waking up one day and my life had changed for ever, I talked about loss and about how I had to learn to cope. I spoke about the path I had travelled on my journey and the exciting things I had experienced along the way.

These ladies where relating to me each in their own way, they where listening intently to what I had to say and I felt a real vibe of interest in the room. The setting was St Cadoc’s church Raglan  with the large church organ behind to set the scene.  It accrued to me exactly how fantastic this was, so prudent, I was a single man tiny in form engulfed in the architecture of this absolutely stunning building. Lit by the light coming in from the massive stain glass windows towered by the stone walls and watched by this incredible church organ. And yet here I was making a difference to people’s lives. simply by communicating and sharing my experiences with others. This was an amazing experience.

I spoke about my journey through medical investigations, tests and examinations, heads started to nod and a reaction of familiarity showed in the ladies faces. It dawned on me that these ladies had been on similar journey as I had. Of course they had! why did i even think for a second they would not understand the feeling of ignorance you get from doctors at times. The pain and frustrations of once being capable and suddenly you realise you are not so able. Each and every person in that room had a story, each story special and full. everyone there had experienced so much and seen so much and yet they offered me the grace of appreciating what I had to say.

I spoke about jumping out of aeroplanes and a sea of smiles shined back at me. I told the story of challenge 2015 and the interest grew stronger, these amazing ladies where so captured by my stories and tales of craziness, every joke I cracked was welcomed with laughs and interaction between each other, the best part was that all the way through they never took their eyes off me and that was extremely refreshing. (not one single mobile in the room)

I was so please when i finished and was showered with applause and congratulations, the questions flowed that I was happy to respond to. I explained what exactly a blog was, for some reason this was by far one of my finest moments of the past few years.

I have done many talks and I can honestly say that this was one of my favourites. I worried about what value I could offer these amazing ladies, I hope I achieved what I set out to do. However the fact they ended up offering me the grace of their time fulling with pride. The experience left me feeling very humble but really buzzing all at the same time.

This right here is what I need in life. This moment is the drug I am addicted to. This is what I want for myself. The moment you sit in front of a group of people share your time and story and leave with the feeling you have added value to the lives of other people is worth more that anything in the world. I would like to thank the ladies of St Cadoc’s church Raglan group for the most amazing evening and an experience I will hold very dear for a long time.  Thank you xxx

My Bucket list

My bucket list

It is safe to say that my Bucket list is growing and genuinely not sure if i will ever reach the end. I love nothing more than a great experience or big adventure, the more of the challenge the better. When I set out with Challenge 15 the aim was to attempt some things off my list but also to attempt to lay the foundation for what was definitely possible. Sometime you just know in your heart that you need to achieve something.

 

The List ongoing
  1. Travel from lands end to Jon O Groats
  2. complete a Climb of Ben Evis
  3. a single Climb of Castle pike
  4. Climb the three peaks
  5. attempt to Climb Everest
  6. Sleep under the stars
  7. Pull a car in my wheelchair
  8. Milk A Cow
  9. Visit Paris
  10. Dance like a fool and not care who was watching
  11. Complete a tightrope in my chair
  12. Take a trip in a hot air balloon
  13. Watch a massive meteor shower
  14. learn to make cheese
  15. Sleep in an ice hotel
  16. Drive a truck
  17. Scream as loudly as I can from a roof top
  18. Skinny dip
  19. Try sledge hockey
  20. Go in a submarine
  21. Learn to dance in a wheelchair chair
  22. learn to climb stairs in a chair
  23. Ride a dog sledge
  24. See an Iceberg
  25. Watch a lightning storm out at sea
  26. Stay up all night and watch the sun rise
  27. go to New Zealand
  28. Go to Ireland
  29. Do something amazing for my friends
  30. Make my own candle
  31. Dance with a stranger in a foreign country
  32. Save / change someone’s life
  33. performance on stage as a wheelchair user
  34. Go to Las Vegas
  35. Visit America
  36. See the northern lights
  37. Go on a cruise
  38. Eat mushrooms that I have gathered
  39. Ride a horse
  40. Visit the Grand Canyon
  41. See Niagara Falls
  42. Push across the Goldengate Bridge
  43. Visit Japan
  44. Scuba Dive
  45. Visit the Statue of Liberty
Completed so far
  1. See a total eclipse -complete
  2. Work a day in a Zoo – complete
  3. Create my own website – complete
  4. Attempt to motivate others – Complete
  5. learn to ride a motorcycle again – Complete
  6. Make a stranger smile with a hug – complete
  7. Zip line – Complete
  8. Attempt WCMX – Complete
  9. Get on an Aeroplane – Complete
  10. Meet Bear Grylls – Complete
  11. Take care of someone who needs me -complete
  12. Pen Y Fan in a wheelchair – Complete
  13. Drive off road – complete
  14. Go Shooting – complete
  15. Be on the News – Complete
  16. Surf – Complete
  17. Read an ill child a bedtime story – complete
  18. Have a meaningful conversation with someone living in hardship treating them with respect – complete
  19. Build a campervan